Sarah Hyland opened up about her battle with depression amid chronic health issues during Friday’s episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
The Modern Family star explained that she has suffered from major health issues her entire life. “It’s a lot. I’ve had about I want to say six surgeries over the past couple of years. But I want to say maybe 16 surgeries all together throughout my life. I just turned 28. And I’ve had two kidney transplants and I have endometriosis…”
Hyland expressed the very low points in her life and how hard it was to be in pain all the time. “At the time, I was 26, and after 26, 27 years of always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day and you don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day, it’s really, really hard,” Hyland expressed.
The 28 year-old revealed that she was extremely close to suicide. “I was very, very, very close,” Hyland told DeGeneres. “I would write letters in my head to loved ones — of why I did it, my reasoning behind it, how it’s nobody’s fault. And I didn’t want to write it down on paper because I didn’t want anyone to find it.”
Hyland explained that confiding in a friend helped her see a therapist, “I’d been saying, ‘I think I need to go see a therapist again,’ And they were like, ‘Why do you need to go see a therapist, you can just talk to me?’ And when I said it out loud they were like, ‘Oh you need to go see a therapist!’ And that’s when I was like, ‘Okay, I don’t think you’re going to help me. I think I need to really do this on my own and really do even more digging and soul searching.’”
Hyland conveyed what helped her through, “Just saying it out loud helped immensely because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time. And saying it out loud really helped me.”
“I didn’t want anyone to know I was that close because if I knew, they would try to persuade me,” Hyland said.
DeGeneres asked what advice Hyland had for others suffering with depression, “Every person with their anxiety, or depression, or suicidal thoughts, every individual is different. So I wouldn’t rely on everything I say, I’m just sharing my story. But I think talking to someone and saying it out loud really, really makes it sound almost ridiculous and puts everything in perspective.”