Marie Osmond kicks off her new role as co-host on The Talk and she sat alongside brother Donny Osmond for an interview on CBS Sunday Morning.
Marie Osmond opened up about a dark time in her past. This included a backstage abuse incident she never mentioned until the release of her book Behind the Smile in 2001, and the loss of her son Michael to suicide in 2010.
Michael was one of Osmond’s eight children according to PEOPLE, adopting him along with five other children with her second husband Brian Blosil. His suicide came in February 2010 after he jumped from the eighth-floor balcony of his apartment building in Los Angeles.
“I think God gives you respites, and then all of a sudden it’ll hit you like the day it did. The ripple effect is so huge, what you leave behind,” Osmond said during the interview.
“When I heard him say to me, I have no friends, it brought back when I went through depression, because you really feel so alone,” Osmond told the TV host. “I’m not a depressed person, but I understand that place, that darkness … I told him, I said, ‘Mike, I’m gonna be there Monday and it’s gonna be OK.’ But depression doesn’t wait ‘til Monday.”
She calls his suicide the “hardest thing I’ve been through” and reveals the constant struggle with the “what ifs” of the situation, shaking it off by saying that living in “what ifs” leads you to “stop living.”
“You cry until you can’t cry, and then you cry some more,” she wrote in her 2013 book The Key is Love, with PEOPLE noting the moment she got the news was like someone running “a knife into my heart.”